Dear Friend,
Lately I've been learning that your vision of your future self is meant to guide you, not shame you.
It's not a benchmark for where you're not, but a compass pointing to what's possible.
If I'm being really honest, this is something I'm still struggling with. Sometimes, my own vision of my "highest self" can feel so big, so bold, that instead of inspiring me, it starts to intimidate me.
Comparing myself to my own potential can feel heavy. It becomes pressure instead of motivation. And when I'm in that space, it actually blocks action.
But I'm learning to shift that. To stop seeing the gap, and start seeing the overlap. To ask myself:
"How am I already embodying the version of me I'm becoming? What would she notice and celebrate about where I am now?"
Because when you're obsessed with the result, what you're really craving is how you think it'll feel. So the question becomes, “can I start feeling that way now?”
I'm learning that building a dream life means not waiting for the result to feel worthy. It means falling in love with the process and realizing you're already on your way.
Leading from Where You Are
The most paralyzing leadership trap I've fallen into is believing I need to become someone else before I can step into my power. That future version of myself (the one who's more confident, more articulate, more established) feels so far away that sometimes I find myself waiting for her arrival before taking action.
But here's what I'm learning: leadership isn't about becoming someone else. It's about leading from exactly where you are, with exactly what you have, right now.
Your future self isn't meant to make your current self feel inadequate. She's meant to remind you of the trajectory you're already on. Every small choice you make today is building her foundation. Every time you speak up in a meeting, honor a boundary, or make a decision aligned with your values, you're not preparing to be a leader someday. You're leading now.
The gap between who you are and who you're becoming isn't a deficit. It's the space where growth happens. It's not evidence that you're behind; it's proof that you're moving forward.
Your future self would be proud of every small, brave choice you're making today. She knows that the leadership skills you're building now (through uncertainty, through imperfection, through taking action before you feel ready) are what will make her powerful later.
Reflection Question: If your future self could send you one message about your current leadership journey, what would she say? How might she reframe the growth areas you're focused on as evidence of your commitment rather than shortcomings?
The Myth of Future Worthiness
There's something particularly insidious about how our culture teaches us to defer our worthiness until we become our "best" selves. This message hits underrepresented communities especially hard. The message is to be twice as good, work twice as hard, achieve twice as much before we deserve respect, opportunity, or belonging.
But what if the person you're becoming isn't meant to be a gatekeeper to your current worth? What if you already deserve everything you're working toward?
I've been thinking about how this shows up in professional spaces. How many brilliant women I know of who wait to apply for promotions until they're 110% qualified, while others apply at 60%. How many of us postpone speaking up, starting businesses, or taking up space until we feel "ready enough."
The equity issue here is clear: when we're taught that our current selves aren't enough, we remove ourselves from opportunities that could create change. We wait on the sidelines while others who never questioned their readiness take the stage.
But your future self needs your current self to start showing up now. She needs you to take up space before you feel qualified. She needs you to believe in your worth before the world validates it.
Reflection Question: Where in your life are you waiting for permission that may never come? What would change if you approached your next opportunity from the assumption that you already belong there, you're already worthy, and you're already enough exactly as you are?
Marry Me Chicken & Other Future-Self Recipes
Sometimes the smallest things reveal the biggest patterns. Two weeks ago, I found myself staring at a recipe for "Marry Me Chicken" and feeling... intimidated.
The name itself made me laugh at first: 'Marry Me Chicken'? The story goes that it's so incredibly good, it might just inspire a proposal. No pressure or anything!
But then I realized I was treating it like something only my imagined 'future self' would make (you know, the version who hosts elaborate dinner parties all the time and has every kitchen gadget neatly organized). I found myself thinking, 'This feels too fancy for a random week’s meal prep (and can I even meal prep this? hint: yes you can!).'
But then I caught myself: why was I gatekeeping myself from a chicken recipe? What if instead of being intimidated by dishes (or anything else) that feel like they belong to some more sophisticated version of me, I just... made what looked delicious? What if I could make 'Marry Me Chicken' simply because I wanted to try it, not because I was auditioning for anyone's approval or waiting to become someone more worthy of an elaborate recipe name?
So I decided to approach it exactly as my current self: someone who adapts recipes to what feels right, who cooks for the joy of nourishing herself, and who can absolutely giggle at a recipe name while making something delicious for a regular week’s meal prep.
My Version of ‘Marry Me Chicken’:
Follow the original recipe but use half the butter and half the parmesan
Let it cool completely, then portion half for the freezer (perfect for future meals throughout the week!).
Thaws beautifully and reheats like a dream
Meal-assembly combos I love: chicken and…. a simple salad topped with herbs and blueberries, simple garlic noodles, sweet potatoes, broccoli.
Simple Garlic Noodles:
8 oz spaghetti, cooked according to package directions
3 tbsp butter
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
2-3 tbsp spicy chili oil (I use the crunchy one from my farmers market, but any works)
2-3 spring onions, chopped
Toss hot pasta with butter and garlic, drizzle with chili oil, top with spring onions
Air Fryer Sweet Potatoes with Cinnamon & Maple:
2 sweet potatoes, cubed
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp maple syrup
Pinch of salt
Air fry at 400°F for 15-20 minutes, tossing halfway through
Air Fryer Broccoli:
1 head broccoli, cut into florets
1 tbsp olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Air fry at 375°F for 8-10 minutes until crispy-tender
The meal was beautiful, nourishing, and completely within my current capacity. No proposal required, just good food that made me happy.
This experience reminded me that wellness isn't about waiting until you're the person who does everything "perfectly." It's about adapting what inspires you to fit who you are right now. Your future self doesn't need you to transform into someone else. She needs you to start practicing self-care with exactly the resources, skills, and energy you have today.
The recipe that intimidates you, the workout that feels too advanced, the self-care practice that seems out of reach... what if you modified it to meet you where you are instead of waiting until you're different? Your future self was built by a current self who was willing to start before she felt ready.
A dare: This week, try making one thing that feels slightly outside your comfort zone. Modify it however you need to (use less of this, substitute that, simplify where necessary). Notice how you feel. Notice what you’ve learned.
Until Next Time...
As I write this, I'm sitting with the paradox of sharing lessons I'm still learning. My future self might write this newsletter differently (with more confidence, more clarity, more polish). But my current self is the one with something to say right now.
And maybe that's the point. Maybe the magic isn't in arriving at some perfect version of ourselves, but in embracing the beautiful messiness of becoming. Maybe our future selves aren't meant to make us feel small, but to remind us that growth is possible, change is happening, and we're already further along than we think.
Your future self isn't judging your current progress. She's cheering you on. She knows that every recipe you modify, every boundary you practice, every small brave choice you make is building the foundation she'll stand on.
You don't have to wait to become her to deserve good things. You don't have to transform into someone else to be worthy of your dreams. You just have to keep showing up as yourself, trusting the process, and remembering that you're already on your way.
With love and solidarity in the journey,
Love,
Rikhi 💌
P.S. What's one thing that feels like it belongs to your "future self" that you could adapt to fit your current life? I'd love to hear about your experiments in meeting yourself where you are.